Thinky Things

Marriage Moments

Thinky Things
Marriage Moments

Jeremiah 4

There are a few things God says must be done by Israel, and (if we make the lesson personal to ourselves) by us, before he can pour out his blessings in full.

  1. "If you will return, O Israel, return to me".
    This is based on the first commandment, "You shall have no other God's before me." Put God in first place in your own personal life. Make him your centre and focus in everything you do.
  2. "Put your detestable idols out of my sight."
    This is the second commandment. "You shall not worship idols." To put an idol out of God's sight means it must be out of our sight too. Get rid of anything that takes first place away from God. Put it out of your sight.
  3. "In a truthful, just and righteous way you swear, 'As surely as the LORD lives.'"
    We must believe that God exists and that he will hold us accountable for our actions. Therefore we must live in a way that shows by our truthful, just and righteous actions that our belief is more than knowledge, but is a matter of the heart and a way of life.

When these things are achieved God will be able to pour out his blessings fully.

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Surviving Marriage With A New Baby

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves ... Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12 v 10 -

I had had Sharon to myself for three and a half years before it all suddenly changed. Anti-natal classes, I discovered, had not done anything to prepare me for sharing my wife with another young man. Three in the bed just didn't seem right, and on top of that, the new man in our lives kept us tired enough for our patience to run short and emotions to run high.

That first year with a new child in the house was probably the toughest one for me in our marriage. I wasn't keen to have to share my wife and to lose the intimacy we had built up since we had been married. And I didn't like the fact that all her attention seemed to be on him instead of on me. Jealousy I suppose. Later, as we had more children, the adjustments in our lives were much easier because we knew more of what to expect.

Looking back over those years, there are some pointers we could recommend if you are going through those hard years of adjustment after having a baby.

1. Get sleep. If it takes an afternoon nap, stupidly early nights or late mornings to survive, take them. Your sanity and marriage are more important than a sparkling clean lounge or a clear kitchen bench.

2. Make time for each other. Plan time together. Grab moments together. Get a babysitter. Get out for an hour or plan time for when the baby is sleeping.

3. Give her help around the house and with the baby. Wash the dishes, make the bed, take the baby for a walk, tidy the living room, cook a meal...

4. Give him regular sex. He will likely be missing it. You may not have the energy for a full on romantic night, but keeping him sexually satisfied will show him that you still love him.

5. Give her understanding. Listen to her. She will need adult conversation after spending all day with a baby.

6. Reduce your busyness in other areas of life if that is possible. Your first new baby takes a lot of energy and adjustment. Commitments in other areas can raise tension.

7. Don't expect too much. Life is not what it once was. Lower your expectations of the tidiness of your house, the timing of your meals, the amount of sleep you plan to get, the amount of sex you will have, and how helpful you expect your partner to be. Then when something is done well or surprises you, remember to say, "Thank you!"

Action Points

1). Get sleep.
2). Make time for each other.
3). Give her help at home.
4). Give him regular sex.
5). Give her understanding.
6). Reduce your busyness.
7). Don't expect too much.